This is officially the last Monday of maternity leave...Dan said I'm not supposed to say everything like that - and I guess he's right, it doesn't sound very positive now that I'm writing it. It has been a great 13 & 1/2 weeks with Adilyn. I am amazed at how beautiful, fun and tiring she is - but most of all at how much my heart has expanded to be filled with love for her. All of this heart expansion has increasingly shown and reminded me of the love that our Heavenly Father has for us...hard to grasp that He could love us that much - but pretty amazing when we think of how imperfectly we love our own children and we think that's a lot.
As I look back on the last 3+ months, I have mixed emotions. It has been the most joyful time of my life - becoming a Mother and sharing that with an amazing husband. However, as many of you know, it has also been a very trying time - as I continue to grieve the loss of my best friends' little girl, Natalie. I wasn't expecting this time to be filled with anything but rainbows and giggles - but God's plan is always greater than ours; sometimes it matches our expectations, and sometimes it's completely different. I was able to catch up with this dear friend this past Friday and am so thankful for her friendship - I am so thankful for her strength and her weakness in this time. I am so thankful for her honesty. I hate saying it, but it has also made me even more thankful for our little girl, Adilyn. I am amazed and humbled by the miracle of life - and yes, it is a miracle! I am thankful for this experience and the way it has changed my heart to not complain, but rejoice for each moment we have with our daughter on this earth. My heart continues to ache for the loss of Natalie...and probably will for a long time, but I am so thankful that I can hope in the Gospel! Hope in the promises God has told us - to look forward with anticipation for future grace and joy!
That being said, we have been busy, cherishing each moment - though I'm realizing I may need to slow it down a bit more :)
This past weekend, we returned to 'normal'. We spent Saturday catching up on some housework - cleaning up the yard a bit, Dan built a shelf to store some stuff in the garage and we made a run to dump some things off. It felt great - though it was a little more challenging while keeping track of Adi and the dog in the midst of it. Unfortunately, I started feeling under the weather on Saturday - and haven't quite kicked it..hopefully soon!
On Sunday, we slept in a bit, went to Church and attended small group. I feel so incredibly blessed to be a part of such a loving, genuine group of people! I feel blessed that there is a group of women praying for me each week - lifting up my anxiety, fear and triumphs to the Lord! Knowing that they are praying for my return to work in...3 days!
Today, I did a test run of my first day back. I woke up at 5:45am to get ready, feed Adi, pack up her stuff and hit the road. On the way to the daycare center, I was thinking to myself...why did we pick this daycare, it seems so far away now...As soon as I walked in the door, I remembered exactly why we picked it and am so thankful we did! Besides it only took me 10 minutes to drive there and about 5 to get to work - which makes my commute approximately 13 minutes longer than it was before :) I absolutely love the Staff at the center and know that Adi will be in good hands when I go back to work on Thursday.
I guess today will be a bit like my return to work - in that I haven't stopped going since I woke up, not even a nap! We got to meet up with Grandma Peltier for lunch and some shopping! Then, Adi and I ran errands, trying to get things ready for the big change...I am so thankful that she is laid-back and spent most of the time sleeping in her car seat. When we got home from our last errand, I left her in the seat while I unpacked groceries and such, since she was sleeping :)
Dan just thought this picture was funny. The hat matches the outfit she wore to Church on Sunday - but made her look a little...French? or Dan thought Chinese - either way it didn't get worn to Church. Ironically, this outfit didn't get worn home from church as Ms. Adi has a little blow-out sitution during the service.
Always an adventure! :)
Hope tomorrow goes okay for you. I remember how hard the first day back was! Each day does get a little easier :-)
ReplyDelete